Not all remembered on 9/11

On the anniversary on the 9/11 attacks, some people are upset that their loved ones are not being remembered. Family members of the men who commandeered and piloted the two planes that hit the twin towers on September 11, 2001 are angry because their loved ones names are not being read along with the names of the other 9/11 victims that are being read aloud today at ground zero.

“It is a disgrace to my boy, and to almighty Allah himself!” said Flafel Atta, mother of 9/11 hijacker Mohammad Atta. “He became a martyr on that day, and should be honored as such,” she said from an undisclosed cave somewhere in the Middle East. She also went on to say “My son should be at the top of the list. After all, it was his meticulous planning that made that day possible.”

  ¶ 10:08 AM

  Big changes at "mouse" network

The ABC television network has caved in to democratic party pressure to edit their made for TV movie "Path to 9/11" and make it more Clinton-friendly. They have also changed their name and logo (seen left) to reflect their way operating. They will henceforth be known as DBC, the Democrat Broadcasting Company. They have also decided to ditch "Mickey Mouse" as their corporate mascot, and have replaced him with a more realistic icon. "Lapdog Robert" will make his debut sometime next week at a press conference hosted by network CEO Robert Iger. No word if Howard Dean or Bill Clinton will be present to have their balls licked by the new mascot, but word is that they will attend, bearing scrotum.  ¶ 1:25 AM

  Path to 9/11 is a path to court

Rotund filmmaker michael moore has filed suit against the ABC television network claiming patent infringement over their film “Path to 911”. Moore claims that he holds the sole patent of constructing films that make George W. Bush look bad, and never licensed the process to the network. ABC says that moore’s claim is without merit because their film concentrates on making former president Bill Clinton look better than he actually was. No word on a court date.

  ¶ 8:08 AM

  Smoking is bad for you

One of GMA’s top stories today was that smoking is not the most healthy thing to do. No friggin’ kidding. Didn’t we know this 40 years ago? What’s up next on GMA? Late breaking details on the moon landing?

  ¶ 7:34 AM

  Ernesto dies, media cries

Hurricane Ernesto fizzled as it hit Florida on early Wednesday morning, touching off ripples of outrage throughout the MSM. The media was lusting for another Katrina-like disaster to pin on President Bush, but had their hopes dashed when the storm did little damage to south Florida. News outlets tried their best to recover by rehashing year-old stories about Katrina’s destruction to the gulf coast region of the country. There were 32 weather related disasters causing one billion or more dollars damage that occurred while Bill Clinton was president. No word if the media has any plans on blaming him for these catastrophes. Stay tuned…

Billion Dollar U.S. Weather Disasters
http://lwf.ncdc.noaa.gov/oa/reports/billionz.html#chron  ¶ 6:46 AM

  Nazi Twins Ruin The World!!!!

ABC news has one again run their story of the "Blonde Nazi white supremacist twins" again. I think this marks the twelfth time in the past five months they have run this story in one form or another. Reporters react with shock and dismay when the twins say that they believe that the holocaust was greatly exaggerated.

Unfortunately there was no time today to run any stories about Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or his views on such things as Jews or the holocaust. Maybe tomorrow...

  ¶ 11:57 AM